on brokenness: "the light shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot overcome it"

You know the story of Ruth in the bible? The one where Ruth is widowed and meets this studly fella named Boaz and they get married and live happily ever after? Well, God had me read that story last week.

Upon jumping into it, I thought it was because He wanted me to get something out of Ruth's character. "Okay God, how is Ruth's faithfulness and her ever immortalized quote 'Where you go, I go' going to change the way I'm faithful today?" Well, when you read scripture, always come expectant. But also always know that what you expect may be the last thing God chooses to touch on. 

When I read Ruth that morning, I didn't learn about faithfulness. I read Ruth that morning because God wanted me to see Naomi's suffering and the beautiful things he did through it (Naomi is Ruth's mother in law).

See, what you don't know is that God has exposed me to brokenness and suffering recently. He's also put a ridiculous passion in my heart for those who are broken and suffering. And, *SPOILER ALERT* we're all broken. 

Here's Naomi's story, the reader's digest version: 

• Meets love of her life, marries him, has two sons
• Famine comes to the land, has to move from home (suffering)
• Gets to new land, husband dies (suffering)
• 10 years later, both sons die (suffering)
• Left with a hopeless heart and two daughters in law 
• She attempts to send daughters in law away to start a new life for themselves, but one, Ruth, chooses to stay with Naomi ("where you go, I go")
• Changes her name from Naomi (which means 'pleasant') to Mara (which means 'bitter')
• Stays at home, stuck in grief, while Ruth goes out and gleans grain from random fields, one of which belonged to the stud, Boaz 
• Boaz "redeems" Naomi and Ruth by buying the land they had and taking them in to be his family - Ruth as his wife and Naomi as a type of mother in law
• The end - happily ever after

See, Naomi went through a BUNCH of crud. Lots of pain, lots of suffering. And it made her bitter. She believed that God's hand had gone out against her. But while she was changing her identity to bitter, God was quietly, through faithful Ruth, orchestrating her eventual redemption and protection. God never deserted Naomi, though that's what she thought. 

I was floored by what God did through Naomi's suffering. See, hard stuff like cutting, divorce, infidelity, eating disorders, sexual abuse, familial dysfunction, self loathing, porn addiction, fear, extreme shame for past sins with boyfriends/girlfriends, being bullied, suicidal thoughts, being angry at dad/mom, deep discontentment with your life, homosexual temptations, self/bodily insecurity, and deep loss are all bad, evil, sad, horrendous things. But the truth of this story is God can use anything for his purposes.  

The coolest part of Naomi's story is what I haven't told you yet. See, after they got married Ruth and Boaz had a baby boy named Obed. And Obed gave Naomi insurmountable amounts of joy - who doesn't want to be a grandmother? Obed grew up and he had a kid too, a boy, named Jesse. Then Jesse grew up and he had a boy too, named David. And David grew up to be a shepherd boy, a king, and also the great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather of Jesus. 

Out of Naomi's suffering came Jesus. 

Literally.

Out of Naomi's pain and heartache came the Savior who 

would forever alleviate pain and heartache. 

If Naomi hadn't lost her family, Ruth would have never met/married Boaz. And who knows how God would have chosen to get Jesus to earth? But He used the hard stuff Naomi went through for His glory. That doesn't mean it wasn't hard. But it did have purpose. And it was redeemed. 

I got to share this story at church yesterday. And I encouraged my little family of awesome youth people to do a couple of things if they've experienced, are currently experiencing, or are watching a loved one experience hard stuff:

1. Remember that God can use anything for his purposes. In our suffering, we usually only see just that: our suffering. But God can use it. Just like Naomi. 
2. Don't let your suffering become your identity. Don't change your name to bitter. Don't let your struggle, pain, secret sin, or heartache become who you are. Because it's not. It's something you go through as a result of being a resident of this broken world. And it doesn't have to define you. How you may ask? Well... 
3. Talk about it - in a safe place with a safe person you trust. 

John 1:5 says this

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it.

Friends, keeping things in the dark will only make them darker. Even though it's hard and personal and embarrassing and gross and makes us look weak, we have to talk about it. Because that's how chains are broken: by letting the light of truth shine on what the enemy would desire to fester in darkness forever. And the light of truth says this: I see your broken, I love you anyway, and I see you as white as snow. 

The Lord just sees broken - and he sees it in ALL of us by the way - so you know you're never alone in the hard stuff. You know that when you share the hard stuff, no matter how messy it may seem, the next person is just as messy as you are. Truly. Because we mirror each other in our mess. And we've all been prescribed with grace upon grace for that mess. Jesus' blood is the cure all. And we all need it. No matter the details of your mess compared to the next person. Or my mess compared to yours. Grace upon grace for us all. Jesus' blood for us all. Hallelujah. 

So do this: remember Naomi. Remember that hard stuff doesn't just have to be hard stuff. It can be redeemed in a way you'd never dreamt. Remember that freedom comes when you let the light shine in your dark places. And chains like shame, guilt and fear have no place where light shines. And remember we're family. We're all a mess and we're all covered in His blood. And aren't we thankful? 

Hallelujah, hallelujah!